Tuesday, January 6, 2009

You Can Eat All That??

Madonna's BFF is back at it again, influencing the minds of the world that yes, we all can be bulimic if we just go at it full force! We've got to give it our all this year ladies! On Gwyneth Paltrow's official blog, Goop.com (has anyone told her that's a nickname for a sloppy vadge?) she reminds us that everyone needs a good old fashioned detox kick in the ass. So while exercising until blue in the face, please remember to avoid dairy, grains, all meat and fish, caffeine, sugar, condiments, nuts (including soy) starches like potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplants, any processed foods and alcohol. Wait!!! Alcohol?? I have to be bulimic and give up my gin and juice?? Aw hell nah bitch!!

Oh yea, I almost forgot to add to the list "anything that remotely resembles actual food."If it looks anything like food, don't even think about putting it into your big fatass mouth. If it's food, just put it in the trash, pour bleach on it and run like the fucking wind. If you want to have the body of a 10 year old boy and the ass of an underdeveloped Somalian girl then you better follow in Gywnnie's footsteps. Shoot for the stars in 09' baby.

Image: Mario Sorrenti

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