It's Just Not Right

What the fuck?!? I hate finding out shit like this and trying to remain composed, but seriously, what the fuck? Ray J, who is best known for screwing Kim Kardashian's big ass on camera and being Brandy's little brother, must have had an "a-ha" moment and realized, when you have no talent and no career, you secure a reality show deal on VH1.

"For the Love of Ray J" doesn't premiere until February 2nd, but if can't wait that long to see the batch of ho's lining up for the Ray J train, then hop on over to VH1's website and educate yourself on such beauties like Caviar, Stacks and my personal fave Lil' Hood.

I just want to go on record right now and say I'm a die hard Flavor of Love and Rock of Love fan..Ray J just isn't right to carry on the franchise! You're telling me no other 80's has been was available? No Jermaine Jackson? No DJ Jazzy Jeff? David Lee Roth anyone? Come on now. Also, Lil' Hood will most likely give birth to Ray J's baby within the year, you know he sperminated her before giving her the boot.

Ya'll Know What A Uvula Is?

Pop tart Miley Cyrus went on her blog today to explain to her fans why her voice will sound like a frog is being strangled for a little while. Unfortunately she didn't explain why her voice sounds like that on all her albums and well all the time..but the culprit was a piece of ranch covered chicken. She loaded some chicken with ranch dressing (eww) and slid that puppy too far. She apparently cut her uvula...does she really expect us to buy this shit? The nurse (I guess she went to the ER after she ate) had to explain to her what the uvula is. She used sign language and poster boards, but by listening to Miley, I'm not sure she understood what and where the uvula is.

Miley and her pedophile boyfriend Justin Gaston were seen earlier today at a chinese food restaurant.

Now, I'm not one to start rumors, but could it be possible something else hit her uvula? Something else phallic in nature that could possibly be the size of a chicken leg? Get better soon Smiley!

All The Single Ladies

Proving he's more than just an out of work singer, Joey Fatone took the time out of his busy schedule to pose with the girls of Wicked Pictures at the 2009 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, NV. Now, we all know Joey is praying for Justin Timberlake to climb off of Jessica Biel, give him a call and say let's do the reunion, but who knew Joey was so into porn? Hah, I just gave myself a chuckle on that one.

Side note: He happens to be married with a daughter. Doesn't that make the picture so much cuter?

Image: AVN

Really? Nuh Uh

Paris Hilton, the prude? Say it ain't so Joe! In the new issue of Glamour magazine, Ms. P alludes that she's not as full service as her last name might claim. According to Hilton, she's only gone all the way a couple times:

"I've only ever done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss. I think it's important to play hard to get. Nobody wants the fake Prada bag -- they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive. If you give it up to a guy he won’t respect you. He’ll want you much more if he can’t have you."

I don't know if anyone has explained this to Paris, but a couple means 2? Just 2, only 2, no more than 2. Couple = 2. 2. Dos. Couple means 2!!!

Let's see how many dudes I can "confirm" just for the hell of it.

Jason Shaw - Model
Rick Solomon - Sleazebag
Benji Madden - Guitarist
Nick Carter - Singer
Paris Latsis - Rich Dude #1
Stavros Niarchos - Rich Dude #2

Now, let's list the guys she's been "rumored" to have slept with:

Cisco Adler - Singer
Chad Michael Murray - Actor
Joe Francis - GGW Founder
Tom Sizemore - Actor (What the hell was that about?)
Simon Rex - Actor
Matt Leinhart - Football player
Val Kilmer - Actor
Travis Barker - Drummer
Jack Osbourne - Reality "star"
Josh Henderson - Actor
Alex Vaggo - Model (The pizza delivery boy!)
Brody Jenner - Reality "star"
Scott Stortch - Music producer
Jared Leto - Actor

And if you go on Whosdatedwho.com, there's an assload more. I'm tired, I can't type all that shit. Either way, Paris, take care of your vadge, you only get one.

Image: David LaChapelle

O' What a Day & Night

One of my favorite H'wood trainwrecks has something to get off her chest and it ain't the funbags we all desperately want to motorboat. In an interview with MTV.com, Aubrey O'day talks about all the hullabaloo surrounding her sexuality. Recently, she's been spotted with a slew of possible kitty lickers but all she will say is:

"I think it's funny that so many people care, I mean, half the time, I don't even know who I'm gonna love or what I'm gonna feel comfortable exposing myself to."

Yea I know, exposing myself to STD's doesn't make me feel too comfortable either. Oh the possibilities. She goes on to say:

"I think [the fact] that so many people are wondering along with me definitely puts pressure on my choices! But one thing that I have to say about me that's really always gonna be true, whether people like it or not, is I'm just gonna be me."

Let's hope she just picks up Lilo's habit of munching out and leaves the crack alone. Who am I kidding, she's already fucked! Apparently she'll have some "big news" to announce this week. Playboy anyone?

Image: Miko Lim