It's Just Not Right

What the fuck?!? I hate finding out shit like this and trying to remain composed, but seriously, what the fuck? Ray J, who is best known for screwing Kim Kardashian's big ass on camera and being Brandy's little brother, must have had an "a-ha" moment and realized, when you have no talent and no career, you secure a reality show deal on VH1.

"For the Love of Ray J" doesn't premiere until February 2nd, but if can't wait that long to see the batch of ho's lining up for the Ray J train, then hop on over to VH1's website and educate yourself on such beauties like Caviar, Stacks and my personal fave Lil' Hood.

I just want to go on record right now and say I'm a die hard Flavor of Love and Rock of Love fan..Ray J just isn't right to carry on the franchise! You're telling me no other 80's has been was available? No Jermaine Jackson? No DJ Jazzy Jeff? David Lee Roth anyone? Come on now. Also, Lil' Hood will most likely give birth to Ray J's baby within the year, you know he sperminated her before giving her the boot.

Apologizing To My Ears

Paris takes everything to heart, including her time behind bars. Take a listen to "Jailhouse Baby," one of the possible tracks off Paris Hilton's new album.

It really fucking hurt me to write that so just listen and judge for yourself ^^

You Can Eat All That??

Madonna's BFF is back at it again, influencing the minds of the world that yes, we all can be bulimic if we just go at it full force! We've got to give it our all this year ladies! On Gwyneth Paltrow's official blog, Goop.com (has anyone told her that's a nickname for a sloppy vadge?) she reminds us that everyone needs a good old fashioned detox kick in the ass. So while exercising until blue in the face, please remember to avoid dairy, grains, all meat and fish, caffeine, sugar, condiments, nuts (including soy) starches like potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplants, any processed foods and alcohol. Wait!!! Alcohol?? I have to be bulimic and give up my gin and juice?? Aw hell nah bitch!!

Oh yea, I almost forgot to add to the list "anything that remotely resembles actual food."If it looks anything like food, don't even think about putting it into your big fatass mouth. If it's food, just put it in the trash, pour bleach on it and run like the fucking wind. If you want to have the body of a 10 year old boy and the ass of an underdeveloped Somalian girl then you better follow in Gywnnie's footsteps. Shoot for the stars in 09' baby.

Image: Mario Sorrenti